Melancholy

Mom and I stayed in San Antonio last night before picking Amy up bright and early today. We drove by our old house and ate at our old restaurant, went to our old Barnes. We're a sentimental family. Mom and I had a lovely time. We talked a lot. Talk to you parents - it's a good thing. San Antonio is really a beautiful city.

Today we picked Amy up and drove back to Telephone. I went to my high school's graduation (which I spent way too much time getting ready for). Then I went to a graduation party for one of my friends. I felt old today. Old and detached from my home. Soon I won't even be able to come back here without making plans to "visit" my grandparents. I miss the people who make home portable.

Tomorrow at 3:00 in the morning Mom and I will drive Amy back to camp. We will then turn around and come back.

My heart is a bit heavy.

Woah...

A huge wind just blew open the door and picked up all the ceiling tiles in the shed we refer to as the office. I think it was a very unhappy ghost who's grave we've built on. He was seeking his revenge. Lucky for me he doesn't like small spaces. Could have been bad.

Well, I spent the entire weekend eating, watching movies, and reading. All of these activities contribute to interior rot. I feel as though I've wasted and been wasted. I also drank 5 glasses of water at lunch yesterday.

I bought many an Ireland book this weekend. Yay. Hopefully I'll actually read them all, although that's not very likely. I also bought a pocket edition of The Secret Garden. It is interesting, the attachment my soul has to whimsy.

Road trip, illness, and records

So yesterday we dropped my cousins off at the airport and drove five hours down to New Braunfels, TX where Amy will be residing for the next seven weeks. Then we jogged our way back home. I am tired of driving. I would be quite content to drive no more than 30 minutes at a time for the next month or so. Unfortunately, I have to go pick Amy up next weekend at about 3 in the morning so that she can go to Luke's graduation...I'm looking forward to it, I assure you.

On the way down to "camp" yesterday we drove through Austin. I wished for a rendezvous with Matt. On the way back we drove smack through (well, not really because we didn't take the business route) Cleburne...I missed Cade. Then we got home and I sat around and watched a movie and missed my friends...alas.

I seem to have developed a lovely virus that consists of a snotty nose, a rather manly voice, itchy throat, and a lovely, juicy cough...wonderful. I'm supposed to sing on Sunday...perhaps I'll cancel.

In my Mother's attempts at making some room in Bruce's house for her stuff, she stumbled across about three hundred records. I thought of you boys and questioned Bruce's intent with them. However, his intentions are quite pure and he doesn't want to sell them off into the greedy hands of college students. Among these musical gems I found Steely Dan, many an Elton John album, and Pink Floyd's The Dark Side of the Moon...Yes, yes, I know you're foaming at the mouth to get your hands on Elton, but please show a little restraint.

Oh my...

Well...It's 12:10 and I'm sitting here posting on my blog because, despite my rather severe weariness, I'd rather be on the internet communicating with my friends who live many miles away than attempting to sleep in this house which, annoyingly enough, never permits me to sleep.

Growing up is strange. I felt like a woman when I got home from Florida. I was talking to Amy and two high school seniors and thought...I'm not a little girl anymore. Isn't it strange that I'm old enough to have a career and a husband and children? I don't know how I feel about this. And I'm ready to leave Telephone. I can't wait to move into my step-dad's house in the good ole DFW (Dallas/Ft. Worth) metroplex.

Of course, thinking about my cousins and Amy all leaving tomorrow and me living in this house with only my parents is a bit frightening. I think I will be desperately lonely and spend way too much time on the computer. I wish we could all stay together for the summer. Then my little life would continue undisturbed. Is it sad that I'm already worried about what will happen in two years when we all have to acquire real lives that don't center around a tiny campus in northwest Arkansas? I won't think of it now...I sound like Scarlett O'Hara.

I've decided that I hate this massive conglomeration of cities during the day, but at night I think I could love any place. We went to Sundance Square (downtown Ft. Worth) tonight and I didn't find myself despising the concrete and cars like I did on the drive down. Night brings out the melancholy idealist in me. Perhaps you could use the word romantic as much as I hate to describe myself that way...I think I'm rebelling against female stereotypes.

I am finished now.

All knowledge has exited my head

So, I'm posting again, after only 10 hours since my previous post. No one even knows I have this...who I am writing to?

Well, I was attempting to modify my lovely blog html and have decided that my mind needs help. It can remember nothing for longer that one day. After a period of 24 hours all knowledge departs, only to be filled with utter trash. This is not entirely true, I did manage to change the color of my links. However, my attempts at removing the lovely underline that I so passionately despise were quite unsuccessful. Perhaps, when my cousins leave and Amy skips on down to camp, I will spend my hours of free time figuring out just what the precise code I need is in order to add friends and remove said underline. I should be spending this time looking for a job for the three short weeks (ish) I have remaining before Ireland...but will that happen? Not likely.

I wonder how deep in debt I will be when they tell me I can't take out any more loans....

Be gentle, it's my first time....

So here I am...making an "online journal" just like everyone else. One week in Florida made me realize that emailing every person I know in order to keep in touch with them won't work, and since our generation seems to prefer communication that allows for complete isolation, this seems like a good choice.

We shall see how much, if any, effort I put in formatting this blog thing. I have a feeling most the skills learned in Interactive Design, which I took this semester, have already exited my head. This is a sad reality of Dani's mind.

I got an A- in Media Law and Ethics....I can handle an A- in Quantitative Literacy....but Media Law? I'm a bit miffed. Miffed is a lovely word.

Upon returning from Florida, (sans sunburn, I might add) I found my room packed full of boxes and the remains of my sophomore year. There's no place to put anything in the awful structure that I shared with my sister for three years, and since my cousins are coming in tomorrow, I packed most of my boxes back in my car to take to my future home in Hurst, TX. I'm rather excited/worried about this living with my step-dad thing. It should be interesting. I need some friends there....it's quite possible that with Amy at camp and myself residing in an awfully dark house in a room all by my lonesome, with no peers, and probably no job, I might become more insane than I already am.

This posting thing is turning into what I feared it would become, ramblings from Dani's head....and this is only my first post. I must work on this. It's slightly absurd for me to do this whole blog thing. I will probably post nothing of substance, ever, therefore I will only ramble. It will become one horrendously long compendium of stupid thoughts. Ugh...end it now.

My subject line makes me feel dirty....