Well, tomorrow I leave for a week of video shooting and live-production at camp. I’m sure you can taste my excitement. I don’t have much to do today. I drove Dad and Deb to the airport at 4:00 this morning. It was raining. A lovely driving experience in NJ. So, I’ll be at camp for a week while they’re in Colorado. Ugh…

I just finished Captivating, the women’s Wild at Heart. It was really quite good. I recommend it. For men too. It definitely reminded me of my passion for women. Made that whole thesis thing look a little more appealing…that’s going to be a very big project.

I’m feeling rather discouraged. I miss people who know me. I miss feeling normal. I miss talking. I know that it’s ultimately my responsibility to be me, but I feel rather oppressed and persecuted for who I am. It’s stupid. I’m praying against my fear and loneliness, but I’m not sure what else I should be doing. I know my security and worth come from God, but how do I live that? Life…

Um…I want to be back at school. Now. I want to see Israel everyday. I want to knit with Evie. I want to have weekly chat times…of course everyone I had those with is either gone or will be living in my room…I want to live with Caryn. I want to plan At the Well. I want to work on my thesis, even though it’s going to stress me out like nothing else. I want to be back in my life. Isn’t it strange how your life shifts to this place you have to leave every year. And it’s our last year…wow. I won’t think of it now.

So, you should post a comment because I’m lonely…and apparently needy. I’m not ashamed. I’m much happier with you all in my life. I hope God doesn’t take you all from me to teach me dependency on him…well, if he really wants to I guess I’ll be okay.

Again, I’m sitting at work with nothing to do. Although I knew there would be nothing. I didn’t come in till 11:30 because I got in at 2:00 last night and Dad was having breakfast with someone at the house. I didn’t have to come in today but I needed to search for flights and talk to some people about shooting tonight. Ah shooting…my favorite thing.

So about that whole flight thing…I might be leading (sort of) a mission trip to Hurley, Virginia. It’s a construction trip to a coal-mining community. I’d be the Touch the World contact with all the driving directions, contact info, and other such things. I’d have to reschedule my flight for a few days later but I’d be paid. So…I think I should do it. I don’t want to end up sitting at home waiting for school to start and I could always use the money even if I do have to buy another ticket.

My dad is leaving Touch the World. It’s been an interesting month watching him try to decide what to do. He told the staff on Monday and it was very emotional. It was good for me to see how Dad affected their lives. They love him a lot. Dad and Deb have no idea what they’re going to do. I’m excited for them.

I guess today is the day I must buy some hiking boots. I suppose it had to happen sometime. Might as well be when I have nothing else to do. I hope they don’t cost more than $50. Ha…

Um…it seems that I only post when I have nothing else to do. I use my blog as a cure for boredom. I just keep wanting to type for as long as possible to ward off finding something else to do.

I’m stopping now. Have a lovely day. God speed. Go with God. God bless you. Any others?

Hello again. Well, Israel has come and gone. He came in Tuesday evening and left at 6:00 am Sunday. I miss him a lot…and it’s only Monday. I miss him more now that he’s been here at my house and work and in my NJ life. Alas…woe is me. Well…only 6 weeks or so. It’s strange to see someone you like so much after being apart. I felt like we needed to get reacquainted.

On another note, the employee policy manual I’ve been working on is done. We’re handing them out in a staff meeting today. The cover looks really good (Israel did it), but the actual manual doesn’t (I did it). It seems like everything I design has lines in it…straight lines. You’d think I’d learn.

We (the “I-man,” as Dad calls him, and I) went into The City Saturday. We won $25 front row seats to Wicked, a prequel to the Wizard of Oz. We thought it started at 3:00. It started at 2:00. We got there at 2:40. So, we missed 40 minutes of the show. They still let us in though, front row seats and everything. I was shocked. It was really good though. The music is amazing. You should see it. All of you. We’ll plan one giant JBU field trip. It’s the best I’ve seen…along with Stomp.

Well…I have no idea what I’ll be doing for the next week. I’m going to training camp soon do video stuff. It should be exhausting. And I’ll be shooting…my favorite thing. But at least I’ll be doing really DM internship stuff. I have to buy hiking/work boots though. Boots. Now really. Will I ever wear boots again? No. I don’t want to pay $80 for boots I’ll never wear. Boy…the nerve.

Stinkin' subject lines

Hello there. I’m eating lunch at my desk. I thought I’d be eating lunch with Dad every once in a while since we’re working at the same place and all, but so far I haven’t eaten with him at all. He’s always in meetings. So, today I planned ahead and brought my lunch. Very exciting. I just finished off my sandwich and chips and am eating two cookies. Yum. I thought that since it only took me 10 minutes to eat and I have a 30-minute lunch break I should do something productive with my time, like post on my blog…

I cannot wait for Israel to be here in approximately 8 days. I miss him…a lot. I miss people in general. I need someone under 30 to hang out with. I don’t know what to do with myself at night…read…play guitar…draw…sit with Dad and Deb…then what? I’m running out of ideas. If you have any, I’m open for suggestions. In fact, I look forward to them.

Work’s been pretty good. I just made 8(ish) cd labels. I’m sure I’ll hate them once they’re printed. They look better than any of the others here though…perhaps that’s not the best way to judge my work.

Um…I’m having a hard time being intentional with my summer goals. I’m not praying and I haven’t memorized one scripture. I also don’t think I’m going to research my thesis at all due to a lack of time, money, transportation and knowledge of the area. I also haven’t worked out, unless you count the two weekends of manual labor (which I do). I’m blaming this lack of exercise on not having any free-weights, but I could at least do sit-ups or something. Lazy bum.

Yesterday we went to Liberty park. We walked along the Hudson River and New York Harbor looking at Lady Liberty’s back side, Ellis Island and Manhattan. It was a wonderful way to experience the city – all the sites without the masses of human flesh jostling about. I hate jostling human flesh in mass quantity.

Let’s see, what other interesting things could I talk about?

I’m sort of getting a tan. I’m fluctuating between severe disappointment in myself and excitement at my less pale skin. I’m pretty sure the only reason I want a tan at all is to meet other people’s expectations. I much prefer paleness.

I miss you all.