A post from an empty office...well, I'm here

So, I’m at my internship…sitting….in an office by myself…with nothing to do. Yep…it’s great. The past two days have been a bit uneventful. Yesterday until lunch was good. My boss and I planned the DVD that I’ll be working on. We were supposed to have meetings in the afternoon but they didn’t happen. So, I sat for most of the afternoon wondering what I should be doing and hoping no one walked in as I checked my email…kind of like I’m hoping no one will walk in now. Today my boss will be out most of the day and I’m supposed to talk to a bunch of people about what they’d like for their portions of the DVD, but as of yet (9:20 AM), no one is here. I wonder when they’ll turn up. Dad said I could go home if I wanted, but I thought I’d wait around for a while since there’s not much for me to do at home either and I’ll feel guilty if I’m not doing something incredibly industrious and productive (like mass producing complicated machinery on a robot operated assembly line).

So far my time in New Jersey has been…what’s the right word?….okay. It hasn’t been awful. I’ve met a lot of people and have slept well. But last night I found myself crying for an hour or so as I lay in bed for one reason or another. I’m probably lonely, but I can’t really identify that as the culprit. Although, I’m pretty sure loneliness and my discomfort in new situations is the cause. I’ve been very quiet…observing and watching and not being very comfortable with myself. Ugh. I don’t like being like this. But I know I’ll be completely normal in a week, so I’m not worried.

What other cheery things can I tell you? My face wash (that until last week I thought I could only get from my dermatologist) is on its way to my bright, little face after an online purchase. It’s coming to provide soft, clear skin for six more months. After running out last week I’ve been using Dove soap. If I don’t get something else quickly I shall revert back to my blemish-ridden state and no one wants that, least of all me.

I’m wondering what I’ll do with myself this weekend. Dad wants me to help him reshingle the roof. That should be an interesting experience. Beyond that I don’t have too many plans. I miss people more when I don’t have Amy and Mom. I know I have Dad and Deb, but I’m still not very Dani-like around them so I feel subdued and hidden.

How are all of you doing? Hmm…exciting things happening? Adventures? Jobs? Summer romances….Well, perhaps I’ll wander the halls once again in search of other humans. See you lovely folks later.

Late night musings

So I’ve decided to post after a long silence. I’m not sure how I feel about this yet; it will probably grow on me.

I head out for New Jersey tomorrow for my internship at my Dad’s ministry. I’m really quite excited about it. And excited about rather shocking things: being in a city (who knew?), living with Dad and Deb (can you believe it?), doing video work (shocking, isn’t it?). Yes, I know you’re stunned at my excitement for these things, and quite frankly, so am I…but I really think God wants me in NJ for the summer. I think my relationship with Dad and Deb is going to grow so much. That’s a really good thing.

So I’ve been sitting around for the past two weeks (since Israel left after his wonderful visit) watching tv, playing spider solitaire, and wondering what I should be doing. Reading seemed uninteresting. Perhaps this was because I needed to research my thesis and the library had no good books on women’s issues so in order to read one I had to sit at Barnes and Noble for hours due to my lack of money to purchase one. It’s been a strange two weeks. I’m ready to have something to do.

I haven’t been able to sleep until two or three in the morning for the past week. I think this will be a problem in New Jersey considering they’re an hour ahead. I might be very tired on Thursday. I thought it was caffeine, but that doesn’t seem to be the problem. I’m not sure what’s going on. Perhaps I inherited my mother’s insomnia…joy. It’s quite possible I’ve just had too little to do…that’s probably it.

Are you enjoying this long post? Of course you are.

I miss my friends (and by friends I mean anyone reading this post). I don’t like leaving familiar, intimate relationships to sit by myself for most of the day. I miss conversations. I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like when we graduate…ugh. Speaking of graduation, I’m already stressing about it. Not so much what I’ll be doing, but what other people will be doing. I’m sure I shouldn’t be concerned with this since it is a year away, but hearing Israel talk about getting a job in Tulsa when I might be in Portland stresses me a bit. Premature? Probably.

So…I think I’m done. Wish me luck on getting everything ready for tomorrow. I’m going to attempt to take my guitar to NJ. This worries me. Please let the plane-packer-men be kind.