Well, tomorrow I leave for a week of video shooting and live-production at camp. I’m sure you can taste my excitement. I don’t have much to do today. I drove Dad and Deb to the airport at 4:00 this morning. It was raining. A lovely driving experience in NJ. So, I’ll be at camp for a week while they’re in Colorado. Ugh…

I just finished Captivating, the women’s Wild at Heart. It was really quite good. I recommend it. For men too. It definitely reminded me of my passion for women. Made that whole thesis thing look a little more appealing…that’s going to be a very big project.

I’m feeling rather discouraged. I miss people who know me. I miss feeling normal. I miss talking. I know that it’s ultimately my responsibility to be me, but I feel rather oppressed and persecuted for who I am. It’s stupid. I’m praying against my fear and loneliness, but I’m not sure what else I should be doing. I know my security and worth come from God, but how do I live that? Life…

Um…I want to be back at school. Now. I want to see Israel everyday. I want to knit with Evie. I want to have weekly chat times…of course everyone I had those with is either gone or will be living in my room…I want to live with Caryn. I want to plan At the Well. I want to work on my thesis, even though it’s going to stress me out like nothing else. I want to be back in my life. Isn’t it strange how your life shifts to this place you have to leave every year. And it’s our last year…wow. I won’t think of it now.

So, you should post a comment because I’m lonely…and apparently needy. I’m not ashamed. I’m much happier with you all in my life. I hope God doesn’t take you all from me to teach me dependency on him…well, if he really wants to I guess I’ll be okay.