A Post
Hello avid blog readers and friends.
I am at Camp Eagle. For two more days. And then I leave. To go home and pack for school. It's been good here. I've done a lot of shooting and editing. It's been good for me. I've also realized that I kind of enjoy getting rediculously sweaty and hot. I also kind of enjoy pushing myself physically. I'm actually considering taking backpacking, raquetball, or something of the sort. Strange isn't it?
All sumer long - actually much longer - I've been getting stressed over things that there's no reason to be stressed about. I cannot currently do anything about them, and worrying does me no good. But I'm very afraid of this year and what it will bring. I think it is going to be very very hard. Possibly the hardest year of my life. I'm very afraid of being vulnerable, and hurt, and lonely. I'm tired of being afraid.
Today we went to Max Lucado's church in San Antonio. It was amazing. I haven't been to church in over a month (not real church. I run power point at camp and find it difficult to actually worship). The message was exactly what I needed to hear. It reassured me of God's purpose for this year. It reassured me of his power. His strength. My weakness. Despite the peace I felt this morning, I am again stressed. Although currently I suppose it's for a slightly different reason.
I feel so weak and incapable of handling my life. I don't know that's any entirely bad thing though. I'm so uncertain. I'm so irritated that this post is so....yucky.
Well, I could use prayers for the upcoming year. I hope that seeing you all comes with much joy.
I don't think this spell check is working. I'm pretty sure I have two misspelled words.
6 Comments:
Well Dani... thanks for finally getting around to updating your blog. It's kind of strange to be posting a comment when I could just talk to you - but, hey, here goes anyways. I am so excited for you next year. I am so excited for the ways that you are letting God use you. I am amazed that you are so willing to let go of your pride to let him accomplish His will - God has done amazing things in you to bring you to this point. For real. Second thing is that I am pretty certain that there will be many times next year when you will feel so alone - this kind of comes with being a leader. That part stinks, but I think that God really can use that loneliness to draw us closer to Him - look at all of the big-time leaders in the Bible: Moses, David, Jesus... I think most of them felt pretty alone quite frequently. BUT, they were also so extremely close to God because they were willing to sacrafice all for Him, which is such an amazing thing. AND, Dani - you and me, we're going to be tight next year, remember? So... I am proud of you for not letting you fear get in the way of doing what you know God is calling you to and I am so excited to see the work that He accomplishes! So... there you have it. I have now officially posted a comment. :) -Pam
See you tomorrow, SisterLove.
dan-o,
look forward to this year for the new adventures it brings! and know that i will be there whenever you need a break from the dorm, or someone to go longboarding with and laughing so hard we both nearly wet our pants, or someone to watch friends with...or just a friend.
i can't wait to see you in just a week or so!
love love love,
nic-o
"SisterLove" from Amy's comment brought a smile to my face. (Unlike the subject of Coldplay's superb piece of songwriting, "God Put A Smile Upon Your Face.")
I look forward to talking to you, Dani.
Au revoir,
David
I just read that last comment. I'm a nerd.
By the way, you haven't written anything in a while.
-David
I always love receiving a comment on my blog when I haven't visited it in a long time. I hope you like that, too.
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