Oh my...

Well...It's 12:10 and I'm sitting here posting on my blog because, despite my rather severe weariness, I'd rather be on the internet communicating with my friends who live many miles away than attempting to sleep in this house which, annoyingly enough, never permits me to sleep.

Growing up is strange. I felt like a woman when I got home from Florida. I was talking to Amy and two high school seniors and thought...I'm not a little girl anymore. Isn't it strange that I'm old enough to have a career and a husband and children? I don't know how I feel about this. And I'm ready to leave Telephone. I can't wait to move into my step-dad's house in the good ole DFW (Dallas/Ft. Worth) metroplex.

Of course, thinking about my cousins and Amy all leaving tomorrow and me living in this house with only my parents is a bit frightening. I think I will be desperately lonely and spend way too much time on the computer. I wish we could all stay together for the summer. Then my little life would continue undisturbed. Is it sad that I'm already worried about what will happen in two years when we all have to acquire real lives that don't center around a tiny campus in northwest Arkansas? I won't think of it now...I sound like Scarlett O'Hara.

I've decided that I hate this massive conglomeration of cities during the day, but at night I think I could love any place. We went to Sundance Square (downtown Ft. Worth) tonight and I didn't find myself despising the concrete and cars like I did on the drive down. Night brings out the melancholy idealist in me. Perhaps you could use the word romantic as much as I hate to describe myself that way...I think I'm rebelling against female stereotypes.

I am finished now.